From the past few days, I have been feeling extremely stagnant.
My crown is tilted, falling apart is my trait now.
Honestly, like my childhood trauma is flying over me like a colourful butterfly, over my head, I can see it, can’t hold it though.
Someone very important told to pen it down.
So I decided to write my feelings which are partially numb now.
Tears have dried up, longing to meet the decorated ones.
Especially my creator, my soul provider – my mother.
They say – it connects us in every cosmic way.
Heavenly.
Godly.
It is a complete lie if I told you that love departs too – when they’re picked up from the ground to get mixed back in the soil.
The love stays in every cell of the body – a body left behind with tears.
A body that abodes pain for and in the name of love.
A beautiful word, ‘Sakhi’.
Haan thi woh meri Sakhi, hasti thi mere saath.
Kitni raat na jaane mere liye royi hai uski naina.
Today after 17 years of longing her, I feel her pain in every inch of my skin.
Deep, deep in my soul.
Kaash woh chand ke pass na hoke, mere pass hoti.
Tab main kya karti?
I think I would hold my creation and give it to her, in her arms.
And say, “Sakhi dekho, aaj main tumhari jaghaa hoon.”
I am a creator too and I’m creating again.
I wonder what she’d say?
What would she do?
Will she hug him? Cry or just smile thinking he looks like me, in her eyes?
Like they say, “Do naina aur ek kahani.”
Ab woh do naina hum aur tum ho, Maa.
Hum aaj zindagi ki unn do raaho pe hai, haha hum ek jaise hai..
Tum meri jaisi ho, aur main?
Main toh tumhari parchhayi hoon, mujhse dur mat jao.
As a child – I never wanted to grow up to be like you.
You forgave easily, you cried a lot holding us.
You believed that all the gods and goddesses were looking over the evil that happened to you.
You – You – You.
I’m just like you now.
We are nothing but in a nowhere land, together yet apart.